1 year ago today.....

One year ago today we received a call at 10 am that our agency would be looking for our son or daughter that night.  At 8:05 pm that same night we saw pictures of Konnor for the first time.  There is a Darius Rucker song that has been hitting a chord with me for the last year, b/c the words of the song "This" just hit so close to home.  Here is just a little of the song

I don't really know how I got here
But I'm so glad that I did
And It's crazy to think that one little thing could have changed all of this

Maybe it didn't turn out like I planned
Maybe that's why I'm such, such a lucky man (woman : )

For every stop light I didn't make
For every chance that I did or I didn't take
For all the nights I went to far
All the girls that broke my heart
All the doors that I had to close
All the things that I knew but I didn't know

Thank God for all I missed
Cause it led me here to this...

All the fights and the tears and the heartache
I thought I'd never get thru
Or the moment I almost gave up
All led me here to you

I didn't understand it way back when
But sitting here right now, it all makes perfect sense

For every stop light I didn't make
For every chance that I did or I didn't take
For all the nights I went to far
All the girls that broke my heart
All the doors that I had to close
All the things that I knew but I didn't know

Thank God for all I missed
Cause it led me here to this...

One of Konnor's referral pictures

We have been so very blessed on this journey of building our family.  Thank You for joining us .

Mark, Ashley and Konnor

P.S.  We posted our adoption story on our agency's blog if you would like to read it  
www.blog.madisonadoption.com

5 weeks post op

Tuesday we went for a 5 week post op follow up with our plastic surgeon.  He was very happy with how Konnor's lip repair turned out.  He said it looks great and that we have done a really good job keeping it clean and moisturized.  Drum roll please......the Dr. said that as far as he is concerned Konnor's nose is a nose just like any other child's at this point.  Yippppeeee!!!!  He said we are free to wipe or suction as needed which is great considering cold/flu season is upon us and he starts daycare in a few weeks.  Here is the shameless plug.....we see Dr. K. Patel with the St. Louis Children's Cleft Palate and Craniofacial Institute and we absolutely love not only our surgeon, but the entire staff in that office.  They have been so wonderful during this whole process and we are so very, very thankful to them for all of their hard work.  Ok, end shameless plug : )  Now we are just doing scar massage a couple times a day using a variation of sunscreen, coconut oil and Mederma.  We also use Aquaphor as needed just to moisturize the area.   

So on to the bad news : (  When Konnor had his palate repair and setback surgery he popped a few sutures in the very center of his palate.  There are 3 layers to the palate and fortunately he only broke thru the first two layers.  Because he never broke thru that last layer he never had food coming out of his nose and there was still a really good chance that the area would heal on it's own.  Unfortunately, we think that when he fell after his lip repair that he broke open that last layer of his palate : (  We now have fluids/food coming out of his nose on a fairly regular basis and Dr. said at this point it is not going to heal itself and Konnor will require another palate repair next summer to fix this area.  Booooooooo!!!!!  The Dr. said that this only happens to about 5% of children that have the palate repair, but our little man just happens to be in that 5%.  The palate repairs are much more painful than the lip repairs and take longer to heal so we are definitely not looking forward to this next surgery with a then 2 1/2 year old.  This one should go better than the last repair though b/c with the first repair he also had the setback surgery and ear tubes placed.  The plan is to keep his pain controlled and this should be the last surgery for a long while.  We are thinking we probably won't schedule the surgery until August at least so that he can enjoy some of the summer. 

On to better news.....Konnor got to meet Santa for the first time last Sunday.  He was fairly indifferent and when he sat on his lap just gave him this weird "Who the heck are you?" look.  Can't wait to see the pictures (I managed to get the before and after shot, but missed the actual sitting on Santa's lap part). 

Konnor is now consistently say MaMa and truly babbling a lot.  He was always so quiet that it is wonderful to hear the jibber jabber coming from him.  We started speech therapy on Friday and he really liked Miss Brittany.  I mean, who wouldn't like an hour of playing right?  Seriously though she said that his communication is anywhere from a 9-15 month level.  The good news is that the areas that he is farther ahead in are a really big deal and the fact that he is doing a lot of imitation now is great.  She said that just while we were there he was already mimicking her and she felt like he would catch up really quickly.  She gave us a few homework things to work on and we are going to see her once a week thru February.  We will reevaluate at that time, but she said she thinks by then he will be pretty much caught up. 

Konnor is now sitting in a booster at the kitchen table.  No more highchair!!!  He looks like such a big boy.  It would have been nice though if someone would have clued this first time Mama into the fact that you really don't want to put the booster on a chair that has a cloth seat.  It may never be clean again.  We also have a new big boy sippy cup called the Avent 360.  For all those cleft parents out there this is the worlds best sippy cup!!!  He was previously using the Reflo cups, but they break easily and he couldn't hold them himself (they are soooo not leak proof).  Since he has had his lip repair he is now able to use the Avent 360 b/c the fluid is released by pressure from the lip or nose.  We have been using them for a couple days and they seem to be as leak proof as any other sippy.  He LOVES his new sippy.  He is so proud of  himself holding it and just keeps picking it up for a drink just b/c he can : )  I don't think he would have been able to use the Avent before his lip repair so I am still grateful for the Reflo cups, but I am so glad he is able to do this himself now.  He starts daycare in a few weeks and I was very worried he wouldn't get enough fluids during the day.  So now at least one of my five million three hundred fifty thousand concerns for his well being are calmed.  He just looks so big sitting in the big boy chair at the table with his big boy cup.  He is growing so fast!

Hope everyone is enjoying the Pre-Holiday season

Ashley

P.S.  Sorry no pictures this time.  Mark is out of town with our regular computer that has all of our photos on it.  I promise lots of pictures next time. 

First Word!!!!!

So we don't start speech therapy until December 7, but when we originally met with the cleft team in June they said that M's and N's would come first with B's and P's being the hardest for him to master.  So with that in mind we have been working very hard on M's and N's in our house.  The easiest are Mama and Monkey b/c he sees them everyday (he has monkey's on the walls in his room).  He has been trying so hard the last week to get some words out, but could never really get them.  A couple times it sounded like he was trying to say Mama, but never in relationship to me as it seemed to just be more of a babbling Mama.  Well today I was holding him and standing next to Mark talking and he very clearly came out with Ma.....long pause....Ma and then leaned in for a kiss on the cheek.  Oh be still my heart that was the most beautiful thing I have ever heard.  Yes I got all teary and hugged and smooched him until he wiggled out of my arms to go play!  We just love this little guy soooo much.

Ashley otherwise known as Ma......Ma

3 weeks Post Op

So tomorrow will be 3 weeks since Konnor's lip repair.  He is AMAZING!!!!  We saw the surgeon last week and no major ill effects from our little fall on day 4 post op.  He appears to be healing beautifully and seriously you can barely even tell he had a cleft at all--ever.  We will see the surgeon again in a couple weeks, but so far all looks good.  The only bad thing is that we definitely have a hole in his palate : (  Boooooo!!!!!  There is no way of knowing if the area in question finally just gave out under the strain of another surgery or if his fall weakened an area, but we definitely have food/drink coming out of his nose now.  The reality is that this was always a possibility b/c his palate repair was so extensive.  It is not bothering him at all or impeding his eating so for now we are just going to watch and wait.  The surgeon said that sometimes they repair themselves, but if it hasn't healed in a year then he would think about another surgery to close the area.

We had our 18 month Well Child Check (yes a month late, but they wanted to wait until after surgery) today.  Holy Cow this little boy, who I can't say is all that little anymore, has gained 6 lbs and 3 1/2 inches in the 6 months and 6 days he has been with us.  That is after 2 major oral/facial surgeries that had him on soft diets for 7 weeks!  He is now officially in double digits on the growth chart: ht/wt 11%/16%.  Not to shabby considering at the end of May he was ht/wt 2%/1%.  He is just getting so big.     It makes me sad that he is growing so fast, but oh so proud at the same time.  In respects to everything else he is doing really well developmentally.  He is starting speech therapy in 2 weeks, but you can tell that he is already starting to try to say words.  Can't wait till we hear Mama and Papa for the first time!

The last 2 weekends have been wonderful.  Just Mark, Konnor and I having quiet family time.  We went to the local zoo one day.  It is a really small zoo, but Konnor loved the monkeys.  We now have a piano for Mr. Konnor man.  I know he is only 19 months, but the deal was to good to pass up so for now we just sit at it and he gently touches the keys.  We plan on starting piano lessons when he is about 3, but until then I am going to get a beginner piano book and try to teach myself a few simple songs.  Now that surgeries are done for awhile we are trying to settle back into a normal daily life routine.  We are very excited about getting to celebrate the upcoming holidays with our little monkey man.  We are so thankful everyday for the blessing of being his parents.

Happy early Thanksgiving everyone!!!!

The Hendricks Family

Push ups

Mama I said no more pictures!

fully belly coma

Surgery update

So Wednesday October 31 was the big day.  We headed down to St. Louis the night before and checked into a hotel.  Konnor decided that he wanted to stay up till 11 which actually worked out well b/c then he slept until we woke him up and loaded him in the car to head to the hospital.  As it was Halloween we thought it was only appropriate that he should be wearing his super adorable monkey costume.  The pre-op Nurse had said that Konnor could bring 1 comfort item that he could take back to surgery with him.  The problem is that Konnor still doesn't grasp the concept of "mine," so there isn't really 1 item that he can't live without.  Therefore we let him take his favorite toy..........one of Mama's spatula's.  He carries this thing around everywhere and don't even try giving him a different one, because it has to be a specific spatula or he screams and points until you give him the right one.  So there we are at 7 am walking into the children's hospital with our little monkey man who has a death grip on his spatula.  He was soooooo stinkin cute and the Nurses all loved him.  Our pre-op Nurse had him do a little parade to show all the other Nurses how cute he was.

They took Konnor back to surgery around 830.  Thankfully they gave Konnor some medication that made him very loopy so he went from pointing and waving bye bye at everyone that walked in to clapping when our Surgeon walked in and giving high fives.  They let us walk him back to the entrance of the OR and then the OR Nurse took him.    Watching the whole team walk around the corner with our baby was awful.  I had complete faith in them, but the fact is that that was MY BABY they were taking away.  I lasted until we started back out into the waiting room before my flood of tears started.    So thankful to my loving husband Mark for the unlimited hugs I needed that day.  I was a total mess, but he took great care of me.

The next 6 hours were some of the longest of our lives.  Our OR Nurse was great and would call us every hour like clockwork.  Konnor did beautifully throughout the entire procedure.  At 230 the surgeon came out to let us know that everything went great and he was very happy with the results.  We then went immediately back to recovery where we could hear our little man's angry cries as soon as we walked thru the door.  It took a few minutes, but we got him calmed down and soon headed up to our room.  Our Nurses were wonderful and we quickly got him scheduled with his pain meds every 4 hrs and started on some apple juice.  He really just wanted to sit on our laps and snuggle that first day.  He couldn't sleep (I think partially b/c they gave him a bunch of steroids in surgery to help with the swelling) so we sat and snuggled, sipped apple juice and watched a thousand episodes of Bubble Guppies. When he finally slept it was only for a couple hours and then he was up around 245 am.  Soooo, at 3 am we got him to take some ice cream (yeah, I told him not to get used to that at 3 in the morning : ) and a little more juice.  Konnor then proceeded to go on strike and refused to eat or drink anything, and I do mean we tried everything we had, for the next 7 hours.  Eventually little man leaned back in such a way that we were able to get a good look in his mouth and lo and behold I found out why he wouldn't eat.....he had a horrible Thrush from all the antibiotics.  This happened after the last surgery too and thankfully our Dr. knows this Mama knows what she is talking about and just ordered the medication without having to pry his mouth apart to look himself.  Of course the meds take a few days to work, but eventually we were able to get Konnor to take a little bit more to eat (they had Dairy Queen soft serve in the cafeteria that he inhaled : ) and they discharged us at around 630pm on Thursday.  Yay, so glad to be home!!!!!

The next 2 days he just got better and better.  We only used the restraints the first 2 nights and only for a couple hours.  He really did not have any desire to mess with his mouth and since he can get out of the restraints in about 15 seconds flat we decided not to fight that battle.  He was eating well and needing very little pain meds.  By day 4 he was pretty much back to normal, and then it happened..............Konnor face planted on our kitchen tile Sunday night.  Let me just tell you that this Mama was hysterical.  I wouldn't normally use that word in the same sentence as my own name, but seeing blood come out of my Son's newly constructed nose and mouth was more than I could take.  Thankfully Children's has wonderful on call Dr.'s that called me back personally (twice--yes I called twice) and it was decided that there really wasn't anything to be done that night so to just wait until our Surgeon's office opened the next day and see what they wanted to do.  We did lose at least 2 sutures, but thankfully those were already pretty superficial so no damage was done.  I talked to our surgeon's office at great length Monday morning and it was decided that since we could not see anyplace that the incision had actually busted open and he was eating/drinking fine then there was nothing to be done.  Other than his upper lip got a little more swollen you can't tell that he ever fell.  Let me just say a huge Thank You to my level headed Husband.  He was most definitely the calm one when this happened.  It is a very good thing that I do not react this way when I have a patient in distress or I would be looking for a new career.

So today is post-op day 9 and Konnor is back to his old self.  He is sleeping really good, eating well and we are getting some genuine smiles (albeit not full smiles b/c he still has sutures).  You can really see him starting to use his upper lip now which is great!  We see the surgeon next Tuesday and hopefully we will get the all clear for awhile.  Thank you again for all the thoughts and prayers over the last week.  Here are some pictures from our latest adventures.  I didn't think it was possible, but he just gets cuter and cuter : )

Ashley

5 days post op cooking Mama breakfast

His favorite new place to play

Our Beautiful---sorry I mean Handsome Boy 9 days post op

SERIOUSLY CAN HE GET CUTER?!?!

Giving Mama smiles as best he can since he still has sutures 

5 months home!!!!!

It doesn't seem possible, but as of October 23 we have been home with Konnor for 5 months.  It doesn't seem like it has been that long since we made the trip to China that would forever change our lives, but we also can't remember him ever not being with us. We had our 6 month post placement visit on October 23 as well.  Yes it was a couple weeks early, but with Konnor's upcoming surgery we wanted to get it done and not have that hanging over our heads.   Sooooo much has happened in the last month and I know I have been bad about updating, but I promise I will continue to update so just stick with us.

The last month has been CRAZY busy.  Let's start with our trips and go from there.  The weekend of September 21 we headed to Chicago.  We attended a reunion with Konnor's Nana and he had a blast.  Let me just tell you that this little guy has moves : )  He absolutely loves dancing and spent a good 45 minutes straight tearing up the dance floor.  He dances to any and all music.  It doesn't matter if it is a commercial, on the radio or coming from one of his toys.  If there is music involved then this little guy is moving to the beat.  Just in the last 2 weeks he has started to add hand movements in with his hip swings so it is even more entertaining to watch.  We were also able to visit with Mark's Aunt and Uncle as well while we were in Chicago.  It was nice catching up with them and just getting away for a few days.  Oh, and Konnor had his first ever trip to the Disney store and IKEA.  Yay!!!!  Although I have to say that I was completely dissapointed in the Disney store.  It just isn't the same as it was when I was growing up.

On September 29 we celebrated the Mid-Autumn Moon Festival with some other adoptive families in the area.  This is the 2nd most important holiday in China and one of the two holidays we are planning on celebrating each year.  This year we joined two other families for dinner at a local Chinese restaurant, visited a local Chinese market and then took our moon cakes (which are totally gross by the way) out to the lake to look at the moon.  It was great getting to visit with the others families and celebrate our children's heritage.

Then just 2 weeks later on October 4th we boarded a plane (Konnor's first flight since our trip home from China) and headed to the east coast.  We were worried about how he would do on the plane, but he didn't make a peep on the way there and only cried on and off for about 20 minutes on the way home.  We spent 1 1/2 days in Boston were we were able to see Gillette Stadium and get Konnor his first ever Patriots jersey!!!!!!  Mama was in her happy place being in her favorite football teams home town, and it doesn't hurt that Konnor looks awfully stinkin cute in his jersey : )  We also spent 3 days in New Hampshire attending Konnor's Aunt Cassandra and Uncle Mike's wedding.  It was so beautiful!  We had a wonderful time catching up with everyone and are grateful we were there to celebrate this special day with such an amazing couple.

October 20 we were able to go to a co-worker of mine's dairy farm and Konnor got to meet the cows, baby calfs and baby bulls.  It was really neat and Konnor loved it when the calfs nibbled on his fingers.

Oh, do you remember last post I commented on how great it was to see age appropriate toddler fits from Konnor as it meant that he was developmentally catching up???  Yeah, well, I'm over that now : )  Now we just have toddler fits.  Truthfully his fits are not that bad and I have found that most of his fits are related to him not being able to communicate what he wants.  We have instituted a new policy in our home......whenever we start seeing the frustration that usually leads up to a fit we ask Konnor to "show Mama/Papa what you want."  This is like a miracle phrase and by golly George he sure does take our hand and lead us right to what he wants.  If he is pointing to something he will shake his head "no" at you until you pick up the right thing that he wants.  He so desperately wants to talk.  He makes you walk around holding him and he will point out everything and you have to name it for him.  Very soon baby boy and you will have everything you need to talk.  Speaking of.....Konnor's lip repair is scheduled for October 31 so please keep our little monkey man in your thoughts and prayers this upcoming week.  We are hoping to only be in the hospital overnight and will try to update with how he is doing as soon as we are able.

Konnor is now officially 18 months old.  Here are some of his favorites at 18 months old:

Foods:
1) cottage cheese
2) yogurt
3) pancakes
4) cooked carrots
5) peas
6) scrambled eggs with cheese

He would be perfectly happy if he never had to eat anything other than these 6 things.  He still doesn't eat much meat, but we are finding if it is very thinly sliced meat then we can sneak a few bites in.

Song's---this child is music obsessed so we must take a moment to document his current favorites.  You may scrunch your eyebrows together and go "HUH??" when you see this b/c he has very broad taste in music.

1) Pontoon by Little Big Town
2) I Dreamed a Dream by Susan Boyle (it must be her original audition or he won't listen to it--yes he is that picky : )
3) Heaven by Gotthard
4) Meant to Be by Steven Curtis Chapman
5) Children of God by Third Day
6) Beat It by Michael Jackson
7) 45 by Gaslight Anthem

In other news, Konnor is up 6 lbs and 2.25 inches since he came home.  Yay!!!!!  He is now totally in 12-18 months clothes.  When I look back at our pictures from China I just can't believe how big he has gotten.  He now climbs the stairs all by himself and is in constant motion.  Unfortunately he has also figured out that if he stands on something it makes him taller and he can reach the things in the middle of the table that he is not supposed to have.  Needless to say he tries to stand on EVERYTHING now.  Many of his toys have to be used with supervision only or he pulls it over to the table and tries to stand on it.  He is still jibber jabbering non stop and I can't wait to hear what he is actually saying.

Overall our little family is doing great.  We continue to be amazed by how well Konnor is adjusting and can't wait to see what antic he will come up with next.  You have all been so patient for an update so here are a bunch of pictures of our crazy little monkey man to make up for the long wait.  Thanks for checking in with us.

Ashley

Tearing up the dance floor in Chicago

Mid-Autumn Festival

He LOVES his rocking horse!!!

Family photo op at the wharf in Boston

Family pic at the wedding.  

Come on....even if you are not a Patriots fan you have to admit he is stinkin adorable!!!!!

Playing outside our house

Letting the baby calves nibble on his fingers at the dairy farm

Exploring his environment

3-4 months home

Ok, so I left off the last post with me getting ready to go back to work.  I started back to work 3 days a week on July 30.   That first week was awful.  Thankfully my Mother is watching Konnor the 3 days a week that I am working right now which means that I get text messages throughout the day about what he is doing.  That has really helped me alot.  Konnor is doing fine with the arrangement.  Sometimes we have some tears, but we have gotten into a routine of saying goodbye in the morning and smiles/hugs and kisses when Mark and I get home at night  so he is doing much better.  I am so thankful that I have such an amazing and hardworking husband that I can only work part-time.  It is wonderful to get to spend that extra time with Konnor and I wouldn't trade it for anything.

July 31 he had a final post-op recheck with the surgeon who cleared him to eat regular food again and said he would just see him at his next surgery.  August was a rough month for the little man.  He had some infected ears and teething for pretty much the whole month.  Lets just say that we now know that when he starts having sleeping issues it is probably related to ears or teeth (with the exception of a night terror every now and then but these are rare now).  The Dr. said that unfortunately he is going to be one of those kids that just has a really hard time with teething.  So now we have a fourth tooth, YIPPPEEE!!!  It only took 4 weeks to break thru too : )  We think he may be working on a few more, including one that may be coming into his nasal passage (this is due to the gum realignment surgery).  It is no big deal and the Dr. isn't worried.  He said that since we know he has more surgeries in the future that we will just keep an eye on it and if there comes a time when it needs to be removed then so be it.  Right now it is not breaking thru, just a bump.  Since his ears cleared up though he has been much better.  Still a drooling machine who has now decided that he doesn't want to wear bibs, but overall he is doing great.

In the last few weeks we have noticed that he is becoming a picky eater.  He has finally figured out that Mama and Papa will feed him no matter what so he feels comfortable in refusing what he doesn't like.  He especially doesn't like meat.  He will eat a little bit of turkey, but for the most part you have to hide the meat in his other food and wait to see how many bites it takes him to figure it out and start chewing around it to spit the meat back out.  If you put it all on his tray he will just pick around the meat completely.  Right now we are getting alot of his proteins thru dairy which is okay.  He has now started on whole milk and LOVES, and I mean LOVES it!!!!  We have spent 4 month trying to get fluids in the child b/c he isn't much of a drinker.  If I would have known that he liked milk so much we would have started it alot sooner.

We had a check up with the Pediatrician 2 weeks ago just to touch base and see how he is doing.  She was very impressed at how far he has come in just 3 1/2 short months.  He has gained almost 4 lbs and 2 inches since we brought him home.  He is now in all 12 month clothes (this is huge for a child that was in 3-9 mo clothes when we got him: ) and I think we may have to move up to 18 mo jammies soon.  It is more a length issues than anything, b/c he has an itty bitty little waist.  We asked the Pediatrician about if she felt he needed OT and she said nothing she saw was concerning to her and that if he is delayed at this point it is only minimally.  Yay!!!!  He can stack 2-3 blocks at a time now, can feed himself, has started working with eating with a spoon, runs, climbs 1-2 steps up and down and open and closes everything in sight.  He doesn't have any words yet which is to be expected, but he jibber jabber's alllllllll day.  You can tell he has alot to say, but just can't form the words yet.  Soon baby boy, soon.  We are planning on starting speech therapy in December or January.   We want to give him enough time to heal after his upcoming surgery at the end of October.

I tell you what this little guy is exhausting : )  In a good way, but we are totally ready for bed at the end of the day.  He just go go go's all day.  I love it!!!!  I am so happy that he is an active child.  Now that it is not 115 degrees outside we are trying to get him out a little more b/c he loves being outside.  We are also trying to arrange more play dates with friends children.  We think he really misses being around other kids.  Whenever we are out he gets upset and reaches for another child if they are crying, and he always seeks other kids out to play.  He doesn't necessary play much with them (which is age appropriate), but just wants to be around them and hand them toys to play with.  We are planning on him starting daycare in December or January so hopefully that will help.

He still freely goes to either Mark or I, but he definitely prefers his Mama if he is upset.  And Oh how those big brown eyes and crocodile tears can just break your heart.  He lets Grandparents hold him without issue, but if he is upset he still wants Mama or Papa.  Beyond that he still doesn't let others hold him.  This is a good thing as far as attachment goes so no complaints here.  The really beautiful thing is that we think he is catching up to the point where we are starting to see real age appropriate toddler behaviors.  We have had a couple of genuine fits when he didn't get his way, picky eating and just general orneriness.  It is a beautiful thing to see the boy who just a few months ago would do whatever/or eat whatever you wanted him to become this little person that is developing his own personality and preferences.  Love, Love, Love It!!!!!

Currently his favorite toys are one of my spatulas and an small blue plastic colander that he wears on his head.  Oh and any kind of ball---yes he is his Papa's son : )  He had his first full football weekend in our house last week and it was great.  Lots of hanging around with my two favorite guys. Konnor would even stop every now and again and watch the games for a couple minutes like he was trying to figure out what the hype was all about.  Don't worry Konnor, your Papa will teach you everything anyone could ever want to know about sports.  Overall our little family is doing amazingly well.  We are just in awe of this child and how much he has blessed our lives.

Here is that oneriness that I was talking about : )

Taken 3 months after gotcha day

First official family picture.  He wouldn't smile for anything!

My Boys, Love them so much!!!!

Love this picture

So Big!!!!

This post was written 7/29/12 and I just never had time to edit before posting.  This will bring you partially up to speed and then I will do some more posts to catch everyone up the rest of the way.

So much has happened in the last few weeks it is hard to know where to start.    Let's start with his ENT postop followup that he had on 7/25/12.  His tubes are fine and his ears look great.  They weighed him and as of 7/25/12 he is 1 oz shy of having gained 3 pounds since he came home 9 weeks ago.  We didn't get a height that day, but know he has gotten alot taller b/c he is now to long for some of his 9 month jammies and he is able to reach things that were previously well out of his reach.  I would guess that he is at least 29 inches now, if not taller.  I can say that he is actually getting chunky now : )  He is still on a soft diet, but we go back on Tuesday 7/31/12 to see the surgeon so hopefully he will be cleared to go back on regular foods.

The super exciting news is that as of last Friday he no longer has to wear the splints.  YIPPPEEE!!!!!  Unfortunately this has not helped our sleep issues as we had hoped it would.  He is sleeping a little bit better, but not nearly as well as we had hoped.  We think that part of the issue is that he is teething.  Unfortunately he only has 3 teeth right now so I think that teething is going to be a huge part of our lives in the next few months.  

He has now started to give us the sign for "drink," and he can nod "yes" or "no" in response to simple questions like, "Do you want to eat?"  He is still a big music fan.  He will often stop what he is doing to  dance if there is a song that comes on that he likes.  We are really working on his fine motor skills and he is starting to at least try to use his pincher grasp.  He did have evaluations this week to see if he needs some therapy to help him catch up.  We are on the fence as to if we will pursue therapy at this time as he is picking up on things so quickly now that his restraints are off.  We will wait to see what the recommendations are from the therapists, but we are leaning towards just continuing what we are doing and possibly reevaluating in a couple months.  

He is just such a joy.  He runs around the house smiling and laughing.  Baxter and Konnor have now started a little chase game.  Baxter will sometimes take off with one of Konnor's toys, Konnor will chase him until he realizes he can't catch him so then he will go get one of Baxter's ropes and start running around the house with it until Baxter comes after him.  Baxter never tries to take it away from him, but he will follow him around watching him and Konnor just thinks this is hilarious.  Konnor has also now discovered how to open and close cabinets and doors, he can turn light switches on and off, and he has figured out that when you go out the front door he can run to the front windows and still see where you are and what you are doing ( I think he picked this last one up from Baxter as that is what he does whenever one of us leaves).  It really is amazing to see how much he is learning from day to day.  I can't wait to see where he will be in a couple months.  

Unfortunately this is my last day home with Konnor.  Tomorrow I have to go back to work.  Boooo!!!  I love what I do, but it is going to be really hard leaving him after getting to spend so much time home.  We are very fortunate in that I am only going back to work 3 days a week, but it just won't be the same.  Thankfully my Mother is going to watch Konnor for us for the next couple of months until he has his lip repaired.   After he has recovered from his next surgery we are going to have to look at him going into daycare, but we will cross that bridge when we get there.  Right now I am just trying to figure out how I am going to survive this first week back at work without a mental breakdown.

He now tries to run to you when you get home for hugs.  Love it!!

Who Me??  I didn't get into the wipes Mama.  Maybe it was Baxter??

Just Love Love Love that smile!!!

Watching the seals play under water at the St. Louis Zoo. 

Tuckered out from all the excitement at the zoo.  

Post-Op recheck

Tuesday we headed down to St. Louis for Konnor's 2 week post-op recheck.  He is doing so amazingly well.  He has been home with us for 6 weeks and has gained 2 1/2 pounds and 3/4".  He is getting chunky and it is great!!  I can actually get him in 6-9 month shorts now (he was in 3-6 mo when we got him home) and 9 month tops.  He can wear a 12 month top but it is pretty baggie still and he is almost out of his 9 month jumpers.  Yay, little man is growing!!!

The Dr. was very happy with how he is doing following surgery.  He did pop a couple of stitches towards the back of his mouth and has a pencil eraser size hole.  The Dr. said it looks like he only broke thru the first of 3 layers of tissue and it should close up on it's own.  If it does not or he breaks thru the other 2 layers then they would have to go back in and repair it.  He said the soonest they would do that would be next summer, b/c he wants to make sure the mouth has had plenty of time to heal.  Other than popping those couple stitches the Dr. said that the rest of his mouth is healing well.  He did recommend that we continue the soft diet until we see him again at the end of the month.  Poor kid has got to be getting sick of a soft diet.  Luckily, enough of his stitches have dissolved that he is able to start eating a few things with thicker consistently.  We have found in the last few days that he LOVES eggs!!  He also is a pretty big fan of chicken and stars.   We are having to get creative with his food since they extended his soft diet.  Unfortunately they also extended his wearing of the splints by another week.  BOOOO!!!!  He is still not sleeping well at night and we can't wait until those splints can go away.  I think towards the end of next week we will be able to start leaving them off for naps and see how it goes.  He is able to go most of the day without his restraints on.  We just have to stay close to him and make sure he doesn't put anything in his mouth.  He mostly just needs the restraints for when he is tired.  Truthfully he hasn't tried to suck on his fingers since surgery.  Occasionally he will put his finger in his mouth, but it is more out of him being onery than b/c he wants to suck on his finger : )  I am hoping that we have officially broken him of sucking on his finger so that when he has his next surgery he won't have as much difficulty.

Poor little buy is cutting another tooth. This is only his 3rd tooth and he is almost 15 months.  I am anticipating alot of teething in the coming months as his little mouth fills up.   He also went to the Pediatrician on Friday and got another round of immunizations.  Poor kiddo got 5 shots and his little legs are so swollen.  Tylenol, Ibuprofen and baths are our friend for the next few days.

Konnor's next surgery will be to repair his lip and is scheduled for Halloween.  He already looks so different that I can't imagine how he will look after his lip is repaired, but I also can't wait to see his complete smile after surgery.  His smile is already so infectious that it will only get better.      Speaking of smiles....this little guy is hilarious.  He is so happy and smiley.  Even the Dr. on Tuesday said "Wow, he is such a happy little guy."  Truthfully as long as he gets his naps and food then he is just a smiley playing machine.  He loves to look in mirrors and will just sit there and make silly faces at himself.  He is just such a joy that words will never be able to express how we feel about him.  He just lights up our small little corner of the world.

On an attachment front I think we are doing incredible.  Konnor will still go to either Mark or I freely.  He is also starting to reach for his Grandparents.  Other than these few people he won't actively seek anyone else out.  This is a great thing.  He will run up to someone (when we are in small group settings--not randomly in public), smile at them and give them a high five, but he won't let anyone else pick him up.  If we let someone else hold him then we have to hand him to them and we stay right by him.  He thinks this is fine for about a minute or two then he is ready to go back to Mama and Baba.  Even with the Grandparents he seeks us out regularly, which is a good thing.  If he is around alot of people he will walk around and play, but he will make sure to keep Mark and I in eyeshot.  These are really good things as far as showing his bonding/attachment to us.

Overall we are still doing great.  Hopefully the sleep issues will resolve once he is able to go without his restraints.  Keeping fingers crossed....

Happy Happy baby

Mama, if you are gonna keep taking my picture then I am sticking my tongue out at you

Baxter loves to snuggle up next to Konnor when he sleeps

The Dream.....

A Wife and Mother.  That is all I ever really wanted to be.  Don't get me wrong I love my job.  It is challenging and very rewarding, but ultimately all I ever wanted to be was a Wife and Mother.  As you age everyone has a picture in their head of what their life will look like in 5, 10 or 20 years.  Mine always was something like Saturday mornings with the sunshine coming thru the windows, music cranked up, everyone playing in their pj's while we do the everyday things such as mopping and laundry that we didn't have time for during the week.  It was always a vision of a comfy home.  That was the key, it had to be a home and not a house.  Anyone can have a house, but a home is where you look in the window and can see the love.

So this morning I am standing in my kitchen with the shades on all the windows up, the sun is shining bright, music is probably a little to loud, everyone in their pj's still, Me with a cup of coffee in hand while I watch my Son walk across the room dancing as best a 14 month old can dance. I look around and yes, I have a few dishes that need done, laundry upstairs that needs folded and a stack of paperwork that needs filed.  I look around and realize that my house will never be spotless and I will never have everything caught up, but I do have The Dream.  It may not be perfect for someone else, but for our little family this is what it is all about.  So instead of watching Konnor dance across the kitchen........ I think I am going to go join him : )

I hope everyone is having as good a weekend as we are.

Ashley

Happy, Healthy Little Boy

We were discharged late Wednesday afternoon. He had the same day Nurse for 2 days straight and before we left she said that he was the best cleft palate repair baby that she had ever taken care of.  Okay??  I thought those first few days were pretty rough so I am now feeling very blessed and saying some extra prayers for all the little ones out there that I know have surgery coming up soon.   They talked like they might keep him another night, because he wasn't eating or drinking very well.  Nurse Mama said that it was time to go home and promised that I would monitor his intake and output very closely. I am SOOOO glad we decided to go home.  Within an hour of getting home he was eating and drinking better and was a playing machine.  This poor little guy has been thru so much in the last 2 months that he just needed to be in the comfort and security of his home.

He is just doing so well at home.  We are now down to only using plain tylenol every 6-8 hrs for pain and he is an eating machine.  He got a little spoiled in the hospital b/c frankly he got to eat whatever it was that he would eat, so ice cream, jello, apple juice, pudding, etc...  Needless to say this is not his regular diet so I am glad that now that we are home he is getting back into a regular eating routine.

I have to give a big shout out to everyone at St. Louis Children's Hospital.  Everyone from the Surgeons, Residents (whom usually annoy me to no end---all you other Nurses out there know what I mean : ), the OR Nurse, floor Nurses and techs, volunteers and even the people that brought the food trays were absolutely wonderful.  They did an amazing job on his repair and you could tell that they all really cared about how he was doing.  We never felt that we were being a bother or that they didn't have time for us.  The Surgeon said he will do Konnor's lip repair in 3-6 months.  I am a little sad that he doesn't have the same smile as when we first met him.  He just had a smile that could light up a room.  I can honestly tell you that now that he is feeling better and the smiles are starting again that his smile is just as magnetic now as it was then.  Different, but just as beautiful.  Here are a few things I would recommend any parent take to the hospital if their child is having a palate repair:

-lots and lots of bibs--if you think you have to many take a few more, we thought Konnor drooled alot before his surgery, but now it is nothing for him to soak straight thru 6-8 bibs a day.  

-take some towels/washclothes from home, yes the hospital will have them, but they are stiff and scratchy, you will appreciate having your soft ones from home

-a few toys for the bed/crib, St. Louis Children's has a playroom for the kids and you can take toys from there to your room, but we thought having something familiar from home helped alot

-comfy clothes for you--take an extra pair in case you have to stay an extra day

-if you have some of your child's favorite soft non-perishable foods that you can take then do, the hospital is limited to basics (ice cream, pudding, cottage cheese, yogurt, etc....)  We took some baby food from home.

-money for food from the cafeteria or vending machines

-pants to go under the patient gowns and either a button up or a shirt that you don't mind stretching the shirt all out to get it over the head for the trip home.  I frankly wouldn't take any clothes that you can't live without.

He absolutely hates his splints.  He has to be in them for 3 weeks to keep him from putting his hands (or anything else) in his mouth.  Unfortunately Konnor sucks on his finger for security.  He really only does it for nap/bedtime, but without it nap/bedtime have been a huge struggle.  We anticipated this, but WOW. I had kinda already forgotten what those first few weeks home from China were like.  He will only sleep for 20-90 minutes before waking up and this is after a fairly lengthy battle to get to sleep in the first place.  He knows he is still tired, but can't sleep so then the screaming starts, and then we replay the above.  Let's just say that Mama is tired.  Mark has been wonderful about letting me get naps, but he is back to work and has been traveling for work alot so I try not to wake him up if I can help it.  It is 1 am right now and we just finished up a 1 hour scream session where I used up all my Mommy tricks to try to soothe him.  Finally I pulled up youtube and started playing Third Day.  We listened to God of Wonders, Children of God and Merry Christmas.  By halfway thru Merry Christmas not only was he calm, but he was already sound asleep again.  I get it now.  The problem was the I was trying to handle the situation instead of just letting God handle the situation.   I might be a little slow, but this sleep deprived brain can still take a hint.

Konnor is now a walking machine.  He started walking really well a few days before surgery. It took him a few days to figure out how to do it with the splints, but he did and now walks all over the place.  He is also consistently giving us the "all done" sign when he is eating.

Truthfully he is doing amazingly well.  The sleep issues are just a small drop in the bucket.  I would never be bouncing back from a surgery like this in the amount of time he has.  Konnor absolutely amazes me in every way.  He has been thru so much in the last 2 months, but he still comes to us with open arms and smiles.  Our love for this little boy grows by leaps and bounds everyday.  When we first got Konnor I kept waiting for this "Wow, you are a Mom" moment.  We had waited so long for this little person to enter our lives that I thought there would surely be a moment where it all hit me.  I finally realized that there isn't one Wow moment.  The Wow moment happens a hundred times a day.  When he reaches for me, gives me smiles, snuggles into me in his sleep, pets the dog--nicely, walks, babbles, cries....the list goes on and on.  The Wow moment is all of it.  Just getting to be apart of Konnor's life is a Wow moment in itself.  I know Mark feels the same.  You can see the stars in his eyes whenever Konnor reaches for him or starts smilings/laughing and walking to him when he gets home from work.  We are so blessed that we were chosen to be Mama and Baba for this perfect little person.  Thank you for following us on this journey.

Being silly at the hotel the night before surgery

1 day post-op in the patient garden with Baba

I'm not letting no stinkin surgery and splints keep me down--5 days postop

Baxter snuggling with Konnor to make him feel all better.  

Another night at the hospital

They have decided to keep us another night in the hospital.  Overall Konnor is doing amazingly well, but his pain control is hit or miss.  This morning was kinda rough, but he had an awesome afternoon.  He was sitting up in bed playing with toys and even tried to give me a couple smiles before he remembered that it hurt to smile.  He did great eating this morning, but only got a yogurt and a little juice in this afternoon.  He just had some pain medicine and is taking a nap.  When he wakes up we are going to try a sponge bath and maybe go to the play area downstairs.  He really is dong amazingly well.    Thank you all for keeping us in your thoughts and prayers.  He is such a tropper and our hearts are just bursting with love for this little guy.

Surgery Day

So today we arrived at St. Louis Children's Hospital bright and early at 6 am.  The staff here has been beyond wonderful.  When we talked to the Dr. before surgery he said that after reviewing Konnor's file and pictures they decided it would be best to go ahead and not only do the ear tubes and the setback of his gum today, but to also go ahead and repair his palate at the same time.  Praise the Lord!!! This will save him another surgery and traumatic hospital stay in the future.  He went back to the OR at 0730 and it was 1330 when the Dr. came out to let us know that the surgery went great.  The OR Nurse called us every 60-90 minutes with an update, but the Dr. said that he couldn't be happier with the result.  He definitely looks different, but he is still our same little man and we couldn't love him more.  We made it to the room at around 230 and he has had a rough go of it since then.  The Dr. warned us that with the multiple surgeries and how bad his palate was that he was going to have alot of pain.  Poor little man has been very upset since we got back to the room.  He has finally settled down and is taking a little nap.  Dr. said we might have to stay an extra day or so just depending on how Konnor is doing.  Thank you to everyone for all the thoughts and prayers.  Please keep them coming as I think our little man has a long couple weeks ahead of him.

1 month home and upcoming surgery

Wednesday marked 1 whole month since we have been home.  I can honestly say it feels like he has always been with us.  It is crazy to think that just 7 weeks ago I was running around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to pack for China and now our little man has been home with us a whole month and is thriving!

We had an appt with the Pediatrician Wednesday for Konnor's pre-op physical.  He is up to 18 lbs 4 oz!!!!!!  That is crazy.  He has gained exactly 2 pounds in the 4 weeks we have been home.  The last few days he has started to give us the "all done" sign when he is finished eating, WhooHoo!!!  It seems like such a small thing to some, but for us it just shows that he trusts us to feed him again when he gets hungry.  Unfortunately his left ear is still infected so we started our 4th round of antibiotics last night.  We will continue these until his surgery on Monday to ensure that the infection does not get worse and delay surgery.  On that note.....Konnor's first surgery is tomorrow 6/25/12 so please keep him and all the Doctors/Nurses and staff at the hospital in your prayers this coming weekend.  We should only be in the hospital overnight so hopefully we will be home in a familiar environment for him by Tuesday night.  Even though his one ear is still infected and the other ear has fluid in it we have noticed a HUGE difference in him responding to us, so the meds are working enough so that he can at least hear a little bit better.

I know I talked about this before, but he is DEFINITELY a Baba's boy now.  He still loves his Mama, but his little face lights up when Baba gets home from work and he wants to be wherever Mark is.  We are still being very selective about holding to encourage his bonding and attachment to us.  Mostly it is just very close family and friends holding him and then only for short periods.  Most of the time he will tolerate it for a minute and then want to come back to Mama or Baba.  Even when others are holding we stay very close and if there is any fussing he comes right back to us no questions asked.  This will be the rule for the foreseeable future.  I know many do not understand this, but he has to have us as a security.  If he is upset about anything he needs to know that it is Mama and Baba he should turn to for whatever it is he needs.  We just ask that you please respect these rules when you are around us.  We are truly not trying to be rude, but we will do whatever we feel is best for him even if it means hurting some feelings in the process.  The process of bonding and attachment is not an easy or a fast process.  It can take months or years to develop a true attachment so please be respectful of the rules we put in place for our family.  We do value everyone's parenting experience, but we have to do what we feel is best for our family based on our/Konnor's experiences.

Friday was Baba's birthday and Konnor decided to give us a couple "special" presents : )  Let's just say the first is a private child/tub/bodily function incident that will be forever remembered b/c of what he did right afterwards.   Just 2 minutes later not only does he stand himself up from a sitting position without holding on to anything (he has been working really hard on this all week), but then he takes off walking 6 steps at a time across the room very steadily.  Two day later and now he is just standing up like it is nothing at all and walking a good 8-10 steps like he has been doing it all along.  I think we can officially say we have a walker in the house now.

Konnor has also definitely discovered his hands.  He is clapping, playing patty cake, giving the "all done" sign and has learned how to push and pull his toys (mostly his cars).

For those of you not on my Facebook page you may have missed my psychotic break last week.  Don't ask me what happened b/c I truly don't know, but somehow I accidentally deleted all the photos on our digital camera.  This would not have been a big deal if it weren't for the fact that we hadn't downloaded the camera since about the 3rd day we were home, which means that all of our first month home pictures were on the camera.  I don't think I have ever cried so hard in my life.  All I could think is that here we only have 5 pictures of his first year of life and I go and delete all the pictures of his first month home with his forever family.  When it happened I was so devastated that I needed a little quiet time so I took Konnor upstairs and put him in for what I thought would be a LONG bath while Mama sat next to the tub quietly sobbing.  I found that he does not like it when Mama cries.  He would splash and then stop and watch me with this very serious look on his face and then give me the biggest, cheesiest grin until I laughed.  We did this over and over until finally Baba came up to see if the storm had calmed and it was decided that we had a happy and healthy little boy and the real thing is so much better than pictures anyway.  Luckily I was able to take the camera to a professional photography place and they were able to recover about 25 of my pictures (better than losing them all!).

Needless to say we have a new camera now and have been picture taking fools the last few days.  We wanted to make sure we had plenty of pictures b/c we absolutely LOVE HIS SMILE JUST THE WAY IT IS!!!!  Tomorrow our little man is having the first of at least 3 surgeries in the next year to repair his cleft and he will look totally different.  I am happy that we can provide this surgery for him, but you really can't beat the smile of a cleft affected baby.  When they smile their whole face just lights up and I haven't seen a person yet who can't help but smile back.  So if you would please keep Konnor and all of his medical staff in your prayers in the coming days.  I will try to get an update on here after his surgery, but we will just have to see how it goes.  Until then please enjoy our trip to the park this weekend........

Hey Ladies, "How U Doin?"

Beautiful  day with my boys

Gotta love that smile!

Mama and Konnor

1 month as a Forever Family!!!!

Wow, I got all teary just typing the title for this post.  One month ago today we walked into the civil affairs office in Guangzhou, China a family of two and walked out a family of three.  It is so hard to believe that it has only been a month.  I truthfully don't know what we did with all our time before he was with us.

Konnor has made remarkable advances just in the almost 3 weeks we have been home.  He is still walking holding onto 1 finger, but I really don't think it will be long before he realizes he doesn't really even need that finger.  In the last 2 days he has started taking himself from a sitting position on the floor to standing without pulling up on anything.  In the last 5 days he has discovered his hands big time.  He will just sit in his carseat or lay on the couch and play with his hands like he never knew they were there before.  We play alot of patty cake and are really working on him pointing/pushing with just one finger to help with his fine motor skills.  He has now used his pincher grasp a couple times to pick up Puffs off his plate.  He has no idea what to do with it once he picks it up, but at least he is trying.  Let me just tell you that it didn't take long at all for our dog Baxter to figure out that if he sits under the highchair he gets the discarded Puffs when Konnor knocks them off : )  He is still eating alot of baby food mixed with cereal, but we have been finding more and more table foods that we can mush to the right consistency for him to eat and he does great.  Just in the last 5 days Konnor has started to show us when he is full.  Previously we had to cut him off b/c he would just eat until he would throw up and even then he would throw a stark raving fit if he could still see the food.  I think he is finally starting to realize that we will always have food for him and he doesn't need to gorge.  It is sad to think that a 1 yr old understood that, but it is what it is and he is doing so much better.  We have also finally found a sippy cup that he drinks really well from.  For any other soon to be cleft parents out there the Reflo cups are amazing (you can buy them online).  He makes a total mess, but he is getting significantly more fluids than when we were having to spoon feed liquid to him.  I weighed him on Friday and in just 2 weeks he has gained a pound.  He is starting to outgrow some of the 9 month onesies/rompers which is great!!  He still has an itty bitty little waist, but looking at pictures from a month ago compared to now you can really see a change in his appearance.  I was looking at one last night from I think the 2nd day we had him and I was telling Mark that he looks so skinny and now his arms and legs are starting to chunk up : )

The last 3 nights he has slept straight thru the night (9-10 hrs--whoohoooo!!!!)  He is still VERY restless and tugging at his ears, but we are hoping this 3rd round of antibiotics will kick in soon and get him feeling better.  The last few days we have also been getting 2 long naps a day instead of 4-5 short naps a day.   This really helps me get a few things done.  We have found that he is an outside kid and on the days when we get walks in or outside playtime he naps sooooo much better.

Oh and big news is that in the last 4-5 days he has totally become a Baba's boy!!!!  He is still wants me too, but he has really started to latch onto Mark and wants to know where he is all the time.  Yesterday Mark went into work for a few hours and when he came home Konnor got this big smile and crawled straight to him.  It was so sweet.  We have also noticed that he is more partial to men than women.  When we are around a group of women he just kinda looks at them, but if a man comes up to him he smiles and laughs and wants them to hold him.  Until Mark he probably never had been around many men so they are COOL to him now : )  I don't mind as long as he still wants his Mama too : )  Towards the end of last week we also started introducing him to some close family and friends.  He LOVES children.  He will latch onto a child any day of the week before he will go to an adult.  It was sweet to see all the kids playing with him and how well he did.  Also a big Thank You to all our family and friends who took the time to explain to their children about why Konnor looks different.  Kids are so honest in their questions that it doesn't bother me when they ask, but I think it helped them to adjust that they already knew what to expect.  Also, we were at Lowes yesterday and it was so nice to walk thru a store and nobody stopped to stare at him.  I LOVE AMERICA!!!!

I think that pretty much catches us up for now. I need Mark to teach me how to upload pictures and then I will post some updated shots.   HAPPY 1 MONTH FOREVER FAMILY KONNOR!!!!

Cleft Team Visit

Friday we drove down to St. Louis Children's Hospital to see the cleft team that Konnor will be working with.  It was definitely a busy day!!  The appointment started at 9 am and ended around 2 pm.  He saw the Plastic Surgeon, Nursing Coordinator, ENT, Audiology, Speech, Child Psychology and the Dentist.  They started by taking several pictures of Konnor and turning them into a 3D model on the computer.  It was really cool to watch.

Here is the basic rundown of what we learned:
-Konnor is going to need 3-4 surgeries in the next year.  The first one will be at the end of June and he will have another one every 3-4 months until his lip and palate are repaired.  The first surgery is called a "setback."  It will be to take the part of his gum that is outside his mouth and reattach it to the gum on the inside of his mouth.  We were really happy with the surgeon.  This surgeon actually trained under the surgeon who invented the most recent and most effective technique for repairing bilateral cleft lip/palate.  Yipppeee!!

-The ENT had to clean out Konnor's ears, b/c they were impacted with wax.  Unfortunately after 4 days on antibiotics he still had pretty significant ear infections in both ears so the ENT called in a second antibiotic for him to start.  It just makes me SOOOOO MAD!!!    I just want to fly back to China and kick that Dr. who told me that his ears were perfectly clear right in the shin!!!

-Audiology said he does have hearing loss , but that the nerve looked ok so it should correct itself after his ears are cleared up and he gets tubes.

-The child Psychologist was able to give us some additional tips on how to deal with his night terrors.  Good news is that the last 5 nights he has slept about 7 hours and had absolutely no night terrors.  WhooooHoooo!!!!! He is still really restless at night, but I think that is due to his ears.

-The Speech Pathologist talked to us about what to expect with his speech and what things we can already start to work on.


I have to say that Konnor did so well during the entire visit.  He hates being in the carseat for more than 20 minutes which led to a long trip home, but overall the day was great.  He is already up 8 oz in weight in a week. They said we were really doing great with feeding him and gave us some pointers to help him drink more.   We got to see another family from our area who came home with their daughter the week that we left to go get Konnor.  I am so happy we have such an extended adoptive community in our area.

He is walking now with only holding onto 1 finger.  He can stand all by himself for about 20 seconds and just yesterday he started to at least try to use his pincher grasp to pick up some food on his tray.  He didn't know what to do with it once he got it, but at least he is trying.  He is still eating mostly baby food mixed with cereal to thicken it, but we are trying him on anything we eat that can be mushed and he does pretty good.  Last night we found that this boy loves meatloaf, mac n cheese and green beans.  And I mean he LOVED the meatloaf : )

It is just so amazing to watch how far he has come in just the 2 weeks we have been home.  Little things like playing peekaboo, patty cake, row row your boat or just giving 5 are all things he has picked up so quickly that just a month ago he knew nothing about.  I can't wait to see where he is in another month!!  We have our first post-placement visit on Friday so wish us luck.

Week 1 Home!!!

May 30, 2012

We arrived in Chicago on Wednesday around 12pm and at approximately 1240pm on Wednesday May 23, 2012 Konnor cleared customs and officially became a United States citizen.  WhooooHooooo!!!!!!  

It is just so hard to believe that after everything we have been through that this is really happening.  I think that it is just starting to sink in that he is really ours and noone is going to take him away.  After years of struggling with infertility you kinda start to live on the edge of a "when is the next shoe gonna drop" pessimistic view of things.  The whole time we were in China I would just look at Konnor and keep telling Mark, "he's really ours."  I still have a hard time believing that they are letting us be the parents of this amazing child.  I am not really sure what we did to deserve such a blessing, but I can assure you that blessed is what we are.  Just in the 2 weeks he has been with us we have already started to see him make huge advances.  He now walks with holding fingers (much more steady than when we first got him), he started pulling himself up to a standing position about 4 days after we got him and just 2 days later he figured out how to sit himself back down from a standing position.  Yesterday he was walking and let go of one of my hands and took 2 steps with just holding on with one hand.  I have a feeling our days until he starts walking unassisted are numbered : )  We have a little work to do on his fine motor skills, but overall he is doing amazingly well.

He did well on the 14 hour flight home.  He just took short 90 minute naps and played inbetween.  I tell you what though I had more people come up and touch him on the plane than the whole time we were in China!  Seriously people quit touching my overstimulated child!!!  It was kinda sweet though, because in China alot of the people would stare at Konnor's cleft, but on the plane all the Asian people were obsessed with if he was warm enough.  This one lady came up to him several times and if he was sleeping she would adjust his blanket to cover him more (then he would proceed to move it back to where he wanted it : ) and there was an elderly gentleman in the row behind us that kept trying to give us his blanket.  I had to keep showing him that between what we brought and what the flight attendants brought us he had like 4 blankets.  He really didn't fuss to much at all until we got on the plane from Chicago to Springfield.  By this time we had been traveling for almost 24 hrs and he was done with a capital D!  He screamed like I have never heard the entire 45 minutes from the time we boarded until we walked off the plane.  Thankfully everyone on board was so understanding.  We were greeted at the airport by both Mark and I's parents and our wonderful cousin Holly was there with her husband Larry to take pictures to capture this moment for us.

After our little meltdown on the plane Konnor was much happier.  We got home and introduced him to our dog Baxter.  Thankfully Konnor is not scared of him and Baxter is doing wonderfully with him. Baxter gets very worried when Konnor is crying and tries to go over to him and give little kisses.  Usually Konnor doesn't mind unless he is already in total meltdown mode.  Baxter is already learning to get out of the way fast when Konnor is playing or you get bashed on the head with a stacking cup.  Baxter just moves a little further away, but keeps on watching him.  Earlier today Konnor was laying down for a nap and when Baxter came in the room he looked for him, then circled the playpen and sniffed it, came up on our bed and peered over the edge to look at Konnor before finally laying down.  It was so sweet.  I anticipate these two getting into loads of trouble together.

He did so well in China, but we knew that coming home it would be a struggle to get him onto the new time zone.  What we failed to anticipate was that moving into yet another environment would trigger his grief reaction.  We wondered at how well his transition went in China, but truthfully we just considered ourselves one of the lucky families and didn't give it much more thought.  We think that once we got home into yet another new environment after such a long travel experience that he finally started to really grieve the loss of his previous life.  I know I talked about this in another post, but we do have to keep in mind that his life in the orphanage is all he has ever known.  We have moved him into a new environment with new food, new smells, new toys, new textures on his clothes and new people.  Everything is new to him and right now his only constant is Mark and I.  It is actually a really good thing that he felt attached enough to his previous life that he is missing it now.  It is heartbreaking to watch his sadness, but I know that in the end it will be good for him to acknowledge these emotions (as much as a 1 yr old can anyway).  

Right now we are really struggling with sleep patterns.  Konnor is having alot of night terrors.   For those of you that don't know, night terrors are common when children (any child, not just adopted children) have a major life change.  The child will usually wake screaming, but they aren't really awake.  When he wakes he has the most heart wrenching scream.  I swear you would think we were torturing him.  You can tell by the look on his face that he is completely terrified.  He reaches for us as if he wants us, but seems overwhelmed by his new environment (he is constantly looking around as if he is trying to find something familiar).  Even though he reaches for us once we pick him up he arches, hits, kicks and pinches.  We have actually found that when he is having a night terror the best thing to do is to lay him on the floor next to us and just talk to him and rub his back/stomach.  He calms himself down alot faster when he self soothes and we walk away with alot less bruises.  This is also leading to him being a little sensitive about other people touching him.  We were originally limiting it to just Mark and I holding him with Grandparents holding him for just a couple minutes at a time.  If there is any fussing then he comes right back to Mama and Baba.  We have decided in the last few days that we are going back to just Mark and I holding him.  We are also limiting touching by other people.  He seems to have alot more night terrors on days when there are other people fussing with him.  We are trying to make sure that he has us as his security blanket until he feels ready to branch out.  Right now we are having a couple of visitor free days so that he can just have some time to settle into life with just Mama, Baba, Konnor and Baxter.   Mark and I are really struggling with the sleep deprivation.  Sometimes his night terrors will last up to 4 hours before he can get back into a restful sleep.  It wouldn't be so bad except that Mark and I have both been sick since we got home.   Right now Mark and I are just taking turns napping thru the day.  We will work it out, but in the meantime there is an awful lot of coffee being consumed in this house, and my amazing husband is polite enough not to point out the insane amount of cookies/chocolate I have consumed in the last 2 days.  I only wish the scale would be so kind when all these sweets catch up to me.  I will say that last night was a pretty good night.  He still had 3 night terrors, but they only lasted 30-60 minutes and he was able to go back to sleep.  We ended up getting 3 good chunks of sleep.  Yay!!!!  We are really working on getting on a schedule right now to help him feel secure.  I have also been talking to alot of other adoptive parents to get ideas for how they have handled night terrors.  I am a list maker so it helps me to have a list of all the different things people have tried so that when I am at a complete loss of how to help him I have something that I can reference.  

On a good note Konnor is a great eater.  We have started expanding his foods since we got home and he is loving it!!!  He is mostly on baby foods thickened with rice/oatmeal cereal or soft foods.  He has to have things thickened to be able to swallow due to his cleft lip/palate, but that sure doesn't stop him from gobbling up every last bite of food.  We have also started getting more fluids in him.  He still won't take a bottle and can't work the sippy cups we bought, but he is drinking alot more that we are offering off the spoon.  I talked to the cleft team and last night we tried a new sippy cup with him.  He LOVED IT!!!  We made a total mess, but he was able to take 3 1/2 oz in a fraction of the time that I could have spoon fed it to him.  YAY!!!  

We are also working on getting him on a meal schedule that includes snacks in the hopes that we can put some weight on this baby.  We had our first appt with the Pediatrician Friday 5/25/12.  She said to keep doing what we are doing as far as feeding and pushing fluids.  We do need to put some work in on the fine motor skills like I talked about before, but overall he is really doing pretty well.  He was 16 lbs 5 oz and 28.5 inches long.  That makes him 1% for weight and 2% for height.   Poor little guy had to get 4 shots though.  I didn't cry, but it was close.  We  had to go back yesterday for lab work and that time I did cry.  They had to stick him 3 times.  It was nothing they did wrong, his little veins just would not give up enough blood for all the screenings he needed.  We have gotten back about half the labs though and so far everything looks good.  He is no longer anemic so that made me happy.  While we were waiting to get his labs done this elderly lady came up to us and asked if we had adopted to which of course we said yes.  She then said that she has supported Operations Smiles for years and that she thinks it is wonderful that he has found a family and that he is such a handsome boy that will be even more handsome once his lip is fixed.  She was teary eyed the whole time she was talking to us and you could tell she really meant well.  It was very sweet.  Konnor then got to make his 2nd trip to the Dr. yesterday b/c he woke up wheezing and his dry cough that he has had since we got him turned into a wet cough with green junk draining from his mouth.  He had been running a low grade temp all weekend which I had just attributed to his shots.  Verdict was possible bronchitis or possible ear infection.  He has very small ear canals so she can't see into them very well so we are just going to treat with a broad spectrum antibiotics to cover all the bases.  See a couple posts back where I thought he had an ear infection in China, but the Dr. at his medical appt told me his ears were clear--REALLY cause my Dr. can't even see in his ears very well so I think that guy was just brushing us off!  He will see the Cleft Palate team on Friday so we are working with the insurance to get that all squared away right now.  

Here are a few things we have learned in our first few days home: 

-we will never have enough stain remover

-laundry is tripling

-If there is something we don't want Konnor to have then it will be the object of his obsession

-dishes with a toddler in the house are never ending

-our grocery bill is going to double

-we can function on only 3 hours sleep

-when you are getting up at 430 am to start your day you really can get alot done by 9 am

-teamwork is a must in getting everything done around the house 

-you have to be able to admit when you have had enough and need a nap b/c your spouse is NOT a mind reader, but will support you in anyway possible

-our lives will never be the way they were before, but will only be better

-when you are sleep deprived and on your last functioning brain cell your Son's smile when he wakes up from a nap can make it all better

just to name a few.....

I'm an American Citizen!!!!!

Snuggling with Baba on our first night home.  He was tuckered out.

Best Buddies  : )