Wednesday, April 17, 2013

A Heavy Heart...

As I write this post it is already April 18th in China.  The sun is coming up and millions of people are beginning their days.  But on this, the eve of my Son's 2nd birthday, their is one family halfway across the world who will mourn this day.  A family who spent 9 months sheltering an unborn child.  They anticipated what it would be like to be a Mother, Father and Grandparent.  A family who felt happiness with each step of the pregnancy and tried to imagine what this unborn child would look like, sound like and grow up to be like.  I imagine that they gathered clothes and other baby essentials in preparation for this little ones arrival.  Then it happened.....April 18, 2011 they gave birth to a beautiful little boy.  A little boy with big brown eyes and chubby cheeks.  Instead of the joy they had anticipated his birth brought heartache as they realized they would not be able to provide the medical care this little one would need.

The details of how/when Konnor came to live at the orphanage are his to share, but I can tell you this one thing with absolute certainty....Konnor's birth family loved him.  I do not have a single doubt in my mind of this.  They risked a great deal to leave him in a place that would assure he was found immediately.  That is an act of Love!  Many children are not so lucky (all over the world) as to be left in a place that would give them them the greatest opportunity for survival.  I cannot even begin to imagine how they felt that day as they looked into this child's eyes knowing they would never see him again.  Hoping that a family would come for him and that he would have the life that they could not provide.  My heart aches for this family on a daily basis.  I think of them when he looks at me with those beautiful brown eyes or when he laughs so hard for so long that it turns into hiccups.  I do not know their names or faces, but we will forever be tied to each other through the love we share for this one amazing little boy.  So today I will say extra prayers for this family.  Prayers that they are at peace with the decision they made, and that somehow, someway they will know that their precious little boy is healthy and very, very loved.


  1. This post brought tears to my eyes, Ashley. What a selfless decision Konnor's birth family made, and what a lucky boy he is to be loved so much by such a wonderful forever family! Happy Birthday, Konnor!!

  2. Wow...what a beautiful and poignant tribute. I am so touched by how eloquently you were able to write this one.