1 year ago today.....

One year ago today we received a call at 10 am that our agency would be looking for our son or daughter that night.  At 8:05 pm that same night we saw pictures of Konnor for the first time.  There is a Darius Rucker song that has been hitting a chord with me for the last year, b/c the words of the song "This" just hit so close to home.  Here is just a little of the song

I don't really know how I got here
But I'm so glad that I did
And It's crazy to think that one little thing could have changed all of this

Maybe it didn't turn out like I planned
Maybe that's why I'm such, such a lucky man (woman : )

For every stop light I didn't make
For every chance that I did or I didn't take
For all the nights I went to far
All the girls that broke my heart
All the doors that I had to close
All the things that I knew but I didn't know

Thank God for all I missed
Cause it led me here to this...

All the fights and the tears and the heartache
I thought I'd never get thru
Or the moment I almost gave up
All led me here to you

I didn't understand it way back when
But sitting here right now, it all makes perfect sense

For every stop light I didn't make
For every chance that I did or I didn't take
For all the nights I went to far
All the girls that broke my heart
All the doors that I had to close
All the things that I knew but I didn't know

Thank God for all I missed
Cause it led me here to this...

One of Konnor's referral pictures

We have been so very blessed on this journey of building our family.  Thank You for joining us .

Mark, Ashley and Konnor

P.S.  We posted our adoption story on our agency's blog if you would like to read it  
www.blog.madisonadoption.com

5 weeks post op

Tuesday we went for a 5 week post op follow up with our plastic surgeon.  He was very happy with how Konnor's lip repair turned out.  He said it looks great and that we have done a really good job keeping it clean and moisturized.  Drum roll please......the Dr. said that as far as he is concerned Konnor's nose is a nose just like any other child's at this point.  Yippppeeee!!!!  He said we are free to wipe or suction as needed which is great considering cold/flu season is upon us and he starts daycare in a few weeks.  Here is the shameless plug.....we see Dr. K. Patel with the St. Louis Children's Cleft Palate and Craniofacial Institute and we absolutely love not only our surgeon, but the entire staff in that office.  They have been so wonderful during this whole process and we are so very, very thankful to them for all of their hard work.  Ok, end shameless plug : )  Now we are just doing scar massage a couple times a day using a variation of sunscreen, coconut oil and Mederma.  We also use Aquaphor as needed just to moisturize the area.   

So on to the bad news : (  When Konnor had his palate repair and setback surgery he popped a few sutures in the very center of his palate.  There are 3 layers to the palate and fortunately he only broke thru the first two layers.  Because he never broke thru that last layer he never had food coming out of his nose and there was still a really good chance that the area would heal on it's own.  Unfortunately, we think that when he fell after his lip repair that he broke open that last layer of his palate : (  We now have fluids/food coming out of his nose on a fairly regular basis and Dr. said at this point it is not going to heal itself and Konnor will require another palate repair next summer to fix this area.  Booooooooo!!!!!  The Dr. said that this only happens to about 5% of children that have the palate repair, but our little man just happens to be in that 5%.  The palate repairs are much more painful than the lip repairs and take longer to heal so we are definitely not looking forward to this next surgery with a then 2 1/2 year old.  This one should go better than the last repair though b/c with the first repair he also had the setback surgery and ear tubes placed.  The plan is to keep his pain controlled and this should be the last surgery for a long while.  We are thinking we probably won't schedule the surgery until August at least so that he can enjoy some of the summer. 

On to better news.....Konnor got to meet Santa for the first time last Sunday.  He was fairly indifferent and when he sat on his lap just gave him this weird "Who the heck are you?" look.  Can't wait to see the pictures (I managed to get the before and after shot, but missed the actual sitting on Santa's lap part). 

Konnor is now consistently say MaMa and truly babbling a lot.  He was always so quiet that it is wonderful to hear the jibber jabber coming from him.  We started speech therapy on Friday and he really liked Miss Brittany.  I mean, who wouldn't like an hour of playing right?  Seriously though she said that his communication is anywhere from a 9-15 month level.  The good news is that the areas that he is farther ahead in are a really big deal and the fact that he is doing a lot of imitation now is great.  She said that just while we were there he was already mimicking her and she felt like he would catch up really quickly.  She gave us a few homework things to work on and we are going to see her once a week thru February.  We will reevaluate at that time, but she said she thinks by then he will be pretty much caught up. 

Konnor is now sitting in a booster at the kitchen table.  No more highchair!!!  He looks like such a big boy.  It would have been nice though if someone would have clued this first time Mama into the fact that you really don't want to put the booster on a chair that has a cloth seat.  It may never be clean again.  We also have a new big boy sippy cup called the Avent 360.  For all those cleft parents out there this is the worlds best sippy cup!!!  He was previously using the Reflo cups, but they break easily and he couldn't hold them himself (they are soooo not leak proof).  Since he has had his lip repair he is now able to use the Avent 360 b/c the fluid is released by pressure from the lip or nose.  We have been using them for a couple days and they seem to be as leak proof as any other sippy.  He LOVES his new sippy.  He is so proud of  himself holding it and just keeps picking it up for a drink just b/c he can : )  I don't think he would have been able to use the Avent before his lip repair so I am still grateful for the Reflo cups, but I am so glad he is able to do this himself now.  He starts daycare in a few weeks and I was very worried he wouldn't get enough fluids during the day.  So now at least one of my five million three hundred fifty thousand concerns for his well being are calmed.  He just looks so big sitting in the big boy chair at the table with his big boy cup.  He is growing so fast!

Hope everyone is enjoying the Pre-Holiday season

Ashley

P.S.  Sorry no pictures this time.  Mark is out of town with our regular computer that has all of our photos on it.  I promise lots of pictures next time. 

First Word!!!!!

So we don't start speech therapy until December 7, but when we originally met with the cleft team in June they said that M's and N's would come first with B's and P's being the hardest for him to master.  So with that in mind we have been working very hard on M's and N's in our house.  The easiest are Mama and Monkey b/c he sees them everyday (he has monkey's on the walls in his room).  He has been trying so hard the last week to get some words out, but could never really get them.  A couple times it sounded like he was trying to say Mama, but never in relationship to me as it seemed to just be more of a babbling Mama.  Well today I was holding him and standing next to Mark talking and he very clearly came out with Ma.....long pause....Ma and then leaned in for a kiss on the cheek.  Oh be still my heart that was the most beautiful thing I have ever heard.  Yes I got all teary and hugged and smooched him until he wiggled out of my arms to go play!  We just love this little guy soooo much.

Ashley otherwise known as Ma......Ma

3 weeks Post Op

So tomorrow will be 3 weeks since Konnor's lip repair.  He is AMAZING!!!!  We saw the surgeon last week and no major ill effects from our little fall on day 4 post op.  He appears to be healing beautifully and seriously you can barely even tell he had a cleft at all--ever.  We will see the surgeon again in a couple weeks, but so far all looks good.  The only bad thing is that we definitely have a hole in his palate : (  Boooooo!!!!!  There is no way of knowing if the area in question finally just gave out under the strain of another surgery or if his fall weakened an area, but we definitely have food/drink coming out of his nose now.  The reality is that this was always a possibility b/c his palate repair was so extensive.  It is not bothering him at all or impeding his eating so for now we are just going to watch and wait.  The surgeon said that sometimes they repair themselves, but if it hasn't healed in a year then he would think about another surgery to close the area.

We had our 18 month Well Child Check (yes a month late, but they wanted to wait until after surgery) today.  Holy Cow this little boy, who I can't say is all that little anymore, has gained 6 lbs and 3 1/2 inches in the 6 months and 6 days he has been with us.  That is after 2 major oral/facial surgeries that had him on soft diets for 7 weeks!  He is now officially in double digits on the growth chart: ht/wt 11%/16%.  Not to shabby considering at the end of May he was ht/wt 2%/1%.  He is just getting so big.     It makes me sad that he is growing so fast, but oh so proud at the same time.  In respects to everything else he is doing really well developmentally.  He is starting speech therapy in 2 weeks, but you can tell that he is already starting to try to say words.  Can't wait till we hear Mama and Papa for the first time!

The last 2 weekends have been wonderful.  Just Mark, Konnor and I having quiet family time.  We went to the local zoo one day.  It is a really small zoo, but Konnor loved the monkeys.  We now have a piano for Mr. Konnor man.  I know he is only 19 months, but the deal was to good to pass up so for now we just sit at it and he gently touches the keys.  We plan on starting piano lessons when he is about 3, but until then I am going to get a beginner piano book and try to teach myself a few simple songs.  Now that surgeries are done for awhile we are trying to settle back into a normal daily life routine.  We are very excited about getting to celebrate the upcoming holidays with our little monkey man.  We are so thankful everyday for the blessing of being his parents.

Happy early Thanksgiving everyone!!!!

The Hendricks Family

Push ups

Mama I said no more pictures!

fully belly coma

Surgery update

So Wednesday October 31 was the big day.  We headed down to St. Louis the night before and checked into a hotel.  Konnor decided that he wanted to stay up till 11 which actually worked out well b/c then he slept until we woke him up and loaded him in the car to head to the hospital.  As it was Halloween we thought it was only appropriate that he should be wearing his super adorable monkey costume.  The pre-op Nurse had said that Konnor could bring 1 comfort item that he could take back to surgery with him.  The problem is that Konnor still doesn't grasp the concept of "mine," so there isn't really 1 item that he can't live without.  Therefore we let him take his favorite toy..........one of Mama's spatula's.  He carries this thing around everywhere and don't even try giving him a different one, because it has to be a specific spatula or he screams and points until you give him the right one.  So there we are at 7 am walking into the children's hospital with our little monkey man who has a death grip on his spatula.  He was soooooo stinkin cute and the Nurses all loved him.  Our pre-op Nurse had him do a little parade to show all the other Nurses how cute he was.

They took Konnor back to surgery around 830.  Thankfully they gave Konnor some medication that made him very loopy so he went from pointing and waving bye bye at everyone that walked in to clapping when our Surgeon walked in and giving high fives.  They let us walk him back to the entrance of the OR and then the OR Nurse took him.    Watching the whole team walk around the corner with our baby was awful.  I had complete faith in them, but the fact is that that was MY BABY they were taking away.  I lasted until we started back out into the waiting room before my flood of tears started.    So thankful to my loving husband Mark for the unlimited hugs I needed that day.  I was a total mess, but he took great care of me.

The next 6 hours were some of the longest of our lives.  Our OR Nurse was great and would call us every hour like clockwork.  Konnor did beautifully throughout the entire procedure.  At 230 the surgeon came out to let us know that everything went great and he was very happy with the results.  We then went immediately back to recovery where we could hear our little man's angry cries as soon as we walked thru the door.  It took a few minutes, but we got him calmed down and soon headed up to our room.  Our Nurses were wonderful and we quickly got him scheduled with his pain meds every 4 hrs and started on some apple juice.  He really just wanted to sit on our laps and snuggle that first day.  He couldn't sleep (I think partially b/c they gave him a bunch of steroids in surgery to help with the swelling) so we sat and snuggled, sipped apple juice and watched a thousand episodes of Bubble Guppies. When he finally slept it was only for a couple hours and then he was up around 245 am.  Soooo, at 3 am we got him to take some ice cream (yeah, I told him not to get used to that at 3 in the morning : ) and a little more juice.  Konnor then proceeded to go on strike and refused to eat or drink anything, and I do mean we tried everything we had, for the next 7 hours.  Eventually little man leaned back in such a way that we were able to get a good look in his mouth and lo and behold I found out why he wouldn't eat.....he had a horrible Thrush from all the antibiotics.  This happened after the last surgery too and thankfully our Dr. knows this Mama knows what she is talking about and just ordered the medication without having to pry his mouth apart to look himself.  Of course the meds take a few days to work, but eventually we were able to get Konnor to take a little bit more to eat (they had Dairy Queen soft serve in the cafeteria that he inhaled : ) and they discharged us at around 630pm on Thursday.  Yay, so glad to be home!!!!!

The next 2 days he just got better and better.  We only used the restraints the first 2 nights and only for a couple hours.  He really did not have any desire to mess with his mouth and since he can get out of the restraints in about 15 seconds flat we decided not to fight that battle.  He was eating well and needing very little pain meds.  By day 4 he was pretty much back to normal, and then it happened..............Konnor face planted on our kitchen tile Sunday night.  Let me just tell you that this Mama was hysterical.  I wouldn't normally use that word in the same sentence as my own name, but seeing blood come out of my Son's newly constructed nose and mouth was more than I could take.  Thankfully Children's has wonderful on call Dr.'s that called me back personally (twice--yes I called twice) and it was decided that there really wasn't anything to be done that night so to just wait until our Surgeon's office opened the next day and see what they wanted to do.  We did lose at least 2 sutures, but thankfully those were already pretty superficial so no damage was done.  I talked to our surgeon's office at great length Monday morning and it was decided that since we could not see anyplace that the incision had actually busted open and he was eating/drinking fine then there was nothing to be done.  Other than his upper lip got a little more swollen you can't tell that he ever fell.  Let me just say a huge Thank You to my level headed Husband.  He was most definitely the calm one when this happened.  It is a very good thing that I do not react this way when I have a patient in distress or I would be looking for a new career.

So today is post-op day 9 and Konnor is back to his old self.  He is sleeping really good, eating well and we are getting some genuine smiles (albeit not full smiles b/c he still has sutures).  You can really see him starting to use his upper lip now which is great!  We see the surgeon next Tuesday and hopefully we will get the all clear for awhile.  Thank you again for all the thoughts and prayers over the last week.  Here are some pictures from our latest adventures.  I didn't think it was possible, but he just gets cuter and cuter : )

Ashley

5 days post op cooking Mama breakfast

His favorite new place to play

Our Beautiful---sorry I mean Handsome Boy 9 days post op

SERIOUSLY CAN HE GET CUTER?!?!

Giving Mama smiles as best he can since he still has sutures 

5 months home!!!!!

It doesn't seem possible, but as of October 23 we have been home with Konnor for 5 months.  It doesn't seem like it has been that long since we made the trip to China that would forever change our lives, but we also can't remember him ever not being with us. We had our 6 month post placement visit on October 23 as well.  Yes it was a couple weeks early, but with Konnor's upcoming surgery we wanted to get it done and not have that hanging over our heads.   Sooooo much has happened in the last month and I know I have been bad about updating, but I promise I will continue to update so just stick with us.

The last month has been CRAZY busy.  Let's start with our trips and go from there.  The weekend of September 21 we headed to Chicago.  We attended a reunion with Konnor's Nana and he had a blast.  Let me just tell you that this little guy has moves : )  He absolutely loves dancing and spent a good 45 minutes straight tearing up the dance floor.  He dances to any and all music.  It doesn't matter if it is a commercial, on the radio or coming from one of his toys.  If there is music involved then this little guy is moving to the beat.  Just in the last 2 weeks he has started to add hand movements in with his hip swings so it is even more entertaining to watch.  We were also able to visit with Mark's Aunt and Uncle as well while we were in Chicago.  It was nice catching up with them and just getting away for a few days.  Oh, and Konnor had his first ever trip to the Disney store and IKEA.  Yay!!!!  Although I have to say that I was completely dissapointed in the Disney store.  It just isn't the same as it was when I was growing up.

On September 29 we celebrated the Mid-Autumn Moon Festival with some other adoptive families in the area.  This is the 2nd most important holiday in China and one of the two holidays we are planning on celebrating each year.  This year we joined two other families for dinner at a local Chinese restaurant, visited a local Chinese market and then took our moon cakes (which are totally gross by the way) out to the lake to look at the moon.  It was great getting to visit with the others families and celebrate our children's heritage.

Then just 2 weeks later on October 4th we boarded a plane (Konnor's first flight since our trip home from China) and headed to the east coast.  We were worried about how he would do on the plane, but he didn't make a peep on the way there and only cried on and off for about 20 minutes on the way home.  We spent 1 1/2 days in Boston were we were able to see Gillette Stadium and get Konnor his first ever Patriots jersey!!!!!!  Mama was in her happy place being in her favorite football teams home town, and it doesn't hurt that Konnor looks awfully stinkin cute in his jersey : )  We also spent 3 days in New Hampshire attending Konnor's Aunt Cassandra and Uncle Mike's wedding.  It was so beautiful!  We had a wonderful time catching up with everyone and are grateful we were there to celebrate this special day with such an amazing couple.

October 20 we were able to go to a co-worker of mine's dairy farm and Konnor got to meet the cows, baby calfs and baby bulls.  It was really neat and Konnor loved it when the calfs nibbled on his fingers.

Oh, do you remember last post I commented on how great it was to see age appropriate toddler fits from Konnor as it meant that he was developmentally catching up???  Yeah, well, I'm over that now : )  Now we just have toddler fits.  Truthfully his fits are not that bad and I have found that most of his fits are related to him not being able to communicate what he wants.  We have instituted a new policy in our home......whenever we start seeing the frustration that usually leads up to a fit we ask Konnor to "show Mama/Papa what you want."  This is like a miracle phrase and by golly George he sure does take our hand and lead us right to what he wants.  If he is pointing to something he will shake his head "no" at you until you pick up the right thing that he wants.  He so desperately wants to talk.  He makes you walk around holding him and he will point out everything and you have to name it for him.  Very soon baby boy and you will have everything you need to talk.  Speaking of.....Konnor's lip repair is scheduled for October 31 so please keep our little monkey man in your thoughts and prayers this upcoming week.  We are hoping to only be in the hospital overnight and will try to update with how he is doing as soon as we are able.

Konnor is now officially 18 months old.  Here are some of his favorites at 18 months old:

Foods:
1) cottage cheese
2) yogurt
3) pancakes
4) cooked carrots
5) peas
6) scrambled eggs with cheese

He would be perfectly happy if he never had to eat anything other than these 6 things.  He still doesn't eat much meat, but we are finding if it is very thinly sliced meat then we can sneak a few bites in.

Song's---this child is music obsessed so we must take a moment to document his current favorites.  You may scrunch your eyebrows together and go "HUH??" when you see this b/c he has very broad taste in music.

1) Pontoon by Little Big Town
2) I Dreamed a Dream by Susan Boyle (it must be her original audition or he won't listen to it--yes he is that picky : )
3) Heaven by Gotthard
4) Meant to Be by Steven Curtis Chapman
5) Children of God by Third Day
6) Beat It by Michael Jackson
7) 45 by Gaslight Anthem

In other news, Konnor is up 6 lbs and 2.25 inches since he came home.  Yay!!!!!  He is now totally in 12-18 months clothes.  When I look back at our pictures from China I just can't believe how big he has gotten.  He now climbs the stairs all by himself and is in constant motion.  Unfortunately he has also figured out that if he stands on something it makes him taller and he can reach the things in the middle of the table that he is not supposed to have.  Needless to say he tries to stand on EVERYTHING now.  Many of his toys have to be used with supervision only or he pulls it over to the table and tries to stand on it.  He is still jibber jabbering non stop and I can't wait to hear what he is actually saying.

Overall our little family is doing great.  We continue to be amazed by how well Konnor is adjusting and can't wait to see what antic he will come up with next.  You have all been so patient for an update so here are a bunch of pictures of our crazy little monkey man to make up for the long wait.  Thanks for checking in with us.

Ashley

Tearing up the dance floor in Chicago

Mid-Autumn Festival

He LOVES his rocking horse!!!

Family photo op at the wharf in Boston

Family pic at the wedding.  

Come on....even if you are not a Patriots fan you have to admit he is stinkin adorable!!!!!

Playing outside our house

Letting the baby calves nibble on his fingers at the dairy farm

Exploring his environment

3-4 months home

Ok, so I left off the last post with me getting ready to go back to work.  I started back to work 3 days a week on July 30.   That first week was awful.  Thankfully my Mother is watching Konnor the 3 days a week that I am working right now which means that I get text messages throughout the day about what he is doing.  That has really helped me alot.  Konnor is doing fine with the arrangement.  Sometimes we have some tears, but we have gotten into a routine of saying goodbye in the morning and smiles/hugs and kisses when Mark and I get home at night  so he is doing much better.  I am so thankful that I have such an amazing and hardworking husband that I can only work part-time.  It is wonderful to get to spend that extra time with Konnor and I wouldn't trade it for anything.

July 31 he had a final post-op recheck with the surgeon who cleared him to eat regular food again and said he would just see him at his next surgery.  August was a rough month for the little man.  He had some infected ears and teething for pretty much the whole month.  Lets just say that we now know that when he starts having sleeping issues it is probably related to ears or teeth (with the exception of a night terror every now and then but these are rare now).  The Dr. said that unfortunately he is going to be one of those kids that just has a really hard time with teething.  So now we have a fourth tooth, YIPPPEEE!!!  It only took 4 weeks to break thru too : )  We think he may be working on a few more, including one that may be coming into his nasal passage (this is due to the gum realignment surgery).  It is no big deal and the Dr. isn't worried.  He said that since we know he has more surgeries in the future that we will just keep an eye on it and if there comes a time when it needs to be removed then so be it.  Right now it is not breaking thru, just a bump.  Since his ears cleared up though he has been much better.  Still a drooling machine who has now decided that he doesn't want to wear bibs, but overall he is doing great.

In the last few weeks we have noticed that he is becoming a picky eater.  He has finally figured out that Mama and Papa will feed him no matter what so he feels comfortable in refusing what he doesn't like.  He especially doesn't like meat.  He will eat a little bit of turkey, but for the most part you have to hide the meat in his other food and wait to see how many bites it takes him to figure it out and start chewing around it to spit the meat back out.  If you put it all on his tray he will just pick around the meat completely.  Right now we are getting alot of his proteins thru dairy which is okay.  He has now started on whole milk and LOVES, and I mean LOVES it!!!!  We have spent 4 month trying to get fluids in the child b/c he isn't much of a drinker.  If I would have known that he liked milk so much we would have started it alot sooner.

We had a check up with the Pediatrician 2 weeks ago just to touch base and see how he is doing.  She was very impressed at how far he has come in just 3 1/2 short months.  He has gained almost 4 lbs and 2 inches since we brought him home.  He is now in all 12 month clothes (this is huge for a child that was in 3-9 mo clothes when we got him: ) and I think we may have to move up to 18 mo jammies soon.  It is more a length issues than anything, b/c he has an itty bitty little waist.  We asked the Pediatrician about if she felt he needed OT and she said nothing she saw was concerning to her and that if he is delayed at this point it is only minimally.  Yay!!!!  He can stack 2-3 blocks at a time now, can feed himself, has started working with eating with a spoon, runs, climbs 1-2 steps up and down and open and closes everything in sight.  He doesn't have any words yet which is to be expected, but he jibber jabber's alllllllll day.  You can tell he has alot to say, but just can't form the words yet.  Soon baby boy, soon.  We are planning on starting speech therapy in December or January.   We want to give him enough time to heal after his upcoming surgery at the end of October.

I tell you what this little guy is exhausting : )  In a good way, but we are totally ready for bed at the end of the day.  He just go go go's all day.  I love it!!!!  I am so happy that he is an active child.  Now that it is not 115 degrees outside we are trying to get him out a little more b/c he loves being outside.  We are also trying to arrange more play dates with friends children.  We think he really misses being around other kids.  Whenever we are out he gets upset and reaches for another child if they are crying, and he always seeks other kids out to play.  He doesn't necessary play much with them (which is age appropriate), but just wants to be around them and hand them toys to play with.  We are planning on him starting daycare in December or January so hopefully that will help.

He still freely goes to either Mark or I, but he definitely prefers his Mama if he is upset.  And Oh how those big brown eyes and crocodile tears can just break your heart.  He lets Grandparents hold him without issue, but if he is upset he still wants Mama or Papa.  Beyond that he still doesn't let others hold him.  This is a good thing as far as attachment goes so no complaints here.  The really beautiful thing is that we think he is catching up to the point where we are starting to see real age appropriate toddler behaviors.  We have had a couple of genuine fits when he didn't get his way, picky eating and just general orneriness.  It is a beautiful thing to see the boy who just a few months ago would do whatever/or eat whatever you wanted him to become this little person that is developing his own personality and preferences.  Love, Love, Love It!!!!!

Currently his favorite toys are one of my spatulas and an small blue plastic colander that he wears on his head.  Oh and any kind of ball---yes he is his Papa's son : )  He had his first full football weekend in our house last week and it was great.  Lots of hanging around with my two favorite guys. Konnor would even stop every now and again and watch the games for a couple minutes like he was trying to figure out what the hype was all about.  Don't worry Konnor, your Papa will teach you everything anyone could ever want to know about sports.  Overall our little family is doing amazingly well.  We are just in awe of this child and how much he has blessed our lives.

Here is that oneriness that I was talking about : )

Taken 3 months after gotcha day

First official family picture.  He wouldn't smile for anything!

My Boys, Love them so much!!!!

Love this picture